Twas just before Christmas and all thru the house
Someone was creeping, he was really a louse
He filled his stockings, but that wasn’t enough
So he hit every room, and got some more stuff
He took jewelry and sweaters, at least three or four
Then he took Doug’s shorts right out of the drawer
He worked very quickly, to the kitchen he flew
And grabbed all the Marlboros and my B & H too
Then wrapping our goods in the Peruvian Rug
He crept into the night looking very smug
Now it wasn’t Santa that went out of that door
Because Santa can’t fit in Doug’s size 34
But we’ve paused to think- things aren’t so bad
He can’t take away all the good times we’ve had
And he can’t take our loved ones, so even tho’ you’re not near
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
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